Saku N.* married her husband while living in her home country. He moved to the U.S. and she followed him a year and a half later.
It was unthinkable for me, a pastor’s daughter who loved the Lord with abandon, to consider abortion. But for the first time in my life, I did.
I conceived just a few days after I joined my husband in the U.S. We’d been apart for 18 months. In my home country, I had a good job, lots of friends, and an active social life. But now, in a strange country with no friends and no money, I was unbearably lonely. My husband declared bankruptcy. We moved in with his relatives. I would soon find out that he passed along an STD to me.
Then, he became abusive.
For awhile, I denied my situation. I could take care of myself, I reasoned.
By God’s grace, my mother-in-law attended McLean Bible Church (McLean, VA). During one of my first visits with her, I picked up a Birthmothers card in the ladies room that said, “Pregnant? Need a Friend?” with a telephone number to call.
I was unfamiliar with how American women interacted with each other and afraid I wouldn’t be accepted. Also, I’m not proactive. So instead of calling Birthmothers right away, I held onto the card. But after I cried myself to sleep every night for several weeks, I realized I needed to talk with somebody.
My call to Birthmothers was the first time I reached out to a stranger. The kind lady on the phone matched me with Julie. Thank God – I finally had a Friend!
When I met Julie, more fears surfaced. This will never work, I thought. She is white and I am Asian. My stress was overwhelming. I knew no one. I had nothing – no job, no car, and no money. I didn’t even have a driver’s license. My anxiety was so overpowering that I was afraid I would miscarry. But Julie was patient and caring. She made time to visit me and listen to me, even though she has three children of her own. Right away, that eased my loneliness.
Together, she and her husband took steps to make sure I was physically safe. They helped me move into a home for abused women. Julie stood by me when the courts placed a restraining order on my husband.
Julie later told me that she prayed very hard that I would keep my child and not abort. Her encouragement made all the difference.
If a pregnant woman would ask me whether or not she should call Birthmothers and be matched with a Friend, I would tell her not to hesitate and not to be scared, but rather be open to receive what a Friend can offer.
Julie’s husband once told me, “Maybe in the past, you’ve been a giver. But there are times in your life when you need to receive. Now is one of them.” I am so grateful I reached out to ask for help. Julie has been a true Friend to me! She helped me have courage to carry my baby to term. Today, I’m the mother of a beautiful, healthy baby girl.
*name changed for confidentiality